Round 9

On Wednesday this week I went to see Dr. Greg in the UAE.  It was good to see him, he’s always so chipper.  He asked me about my time back in the UK before he did my scan. I never ever thought I’d actually say that I will miss my visits to see him and his lovely nurse.  I used to dread that clinic and now people actually know my name.  I wouldn’t go as far as to saying I look forward to my visits but I don’t dread them any more, even the blood tests!  I have actually become quite friendly with the two nurses who stick needles into my arm every few days, now that’s an achievement!

A Story of Hope

Before my scan Dr. Greg told me a story which has given me even more hope.  It has made me realize that I am really not alone which I so often feel, largely because people just don’t talk about ‘egg freezing’ especially here in the UAE and even in the UK its just not a dinner conversation.

Dr Greg told me about a patient he has (he didn’t break doctor patient confidentiality don’t worry – I got the very top line story).  She is slightly older than me, in a different situation as she married of Arab decent and I think her husband is local.  They don’t want to have children quite yet (not quite sure why as I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if I was married I wouldn’t be doing this, I’d be diving right into motherhood!), so she decided to freeze her eggs.

A Magic Number

Her collection has been even less fruitful than mine, having at best one egg each round.  He told me about this girl’s determination and will power and how over her journey she now has 19 eggs frozen!  I didn’t ask how many rounds she had done or for how long she had been doing this but I would assume over 20 rounds and probably almost two years.

Apparently 20 eggs frozen is her magic number.  He said he never ever thought she would get as far as she has, but it has been through sheer determination and will power that she has almost reached her goal.

If she had been told that it was too late or that there was no hope for her at the start of her journey then she wouldn’t be where she is now with almost 20 eggs frozen and keeping her dream of becoming a biological mother alive. I don’t know this girl and probably never will, but as he told me this story I had this strange desire to know her .  I wanted to tell her how amazingly strong she is to have gotten this far.  We are from completely different backgrounds and have completely different situations, but I think we would bond over our journeys, discuss how we came up with our ‘magic numbers’  and probably have a bit of a laugh (and cry) together.

I hope one day Dr. Greg can tell other patients my story with as much pride and give other patients like me as much hope as this story gave me.

More Dr. Gregs

There should be more doctors like Dr. Greg who are willing to give people like me and this girl a chance.  I know it is important for doctors to be realistic about the chances of success, but I have also learnt how important it is to be surrounded by healthcare professionals who are positive and willing to give things a try and Dr. Greg was and is one of those.

If I had listened to things I had heard at the start of this journey then I would never have even tried to freeze my eggs. I would have walked away and maybe gone down the path of trying to be a single mother using donor sperm, I don’t know.  Getting to that point is another emotional and phycological hurdle a person needs to get over. I may well have to get to that hurdle one day soon and figure out if that is for me, I know that but for now I am so thankful to Dr. Greg for taking a chance with me and giving me hope when others told me there was none.

Back to My Story….

Anyway, back to round 9 and day 6 since starting stimulation and it was time for a scan.  The scan was not as positive as I had hoped.  I felt very different during the start of this round. This is to be expected as I had a different trigger shot in round 8 and had gone straight from collection into stimulation again and I had experienced more headaches, spotting and felt really really bloated and tired during the first five days.

I hoped my scan would show that this round was working and working really well but sadly it wasn’t such good news.  One follicle on my right ovary and one on my left, both small (10mm and 8mm respectively).  Dr. Greg did say it was still early and that I should take a blood test today for estradiol as a bench mark test (today’s result wouldn’t mean anything other than to show if my next estradiol test result was increasing or not) and continue taking 225 IU of Gonal F each evening.  Then come back for a blood test and scan on Sunday to see if my estradiol had increased which would indicate if follicles were growing or not and if any more had appeared from the scan.

So here I am mid weekend hoping that come Sunday things will be looking good enough to continue with stimulation and hopefully I have a couple of eggs to collect the middle of next week.

I am trying not to get my hopes up because I have done that so many times before and the minute I do, things tend to go the opposite way to the way I want them to.  So instead I am trying to be quite zen and pragmatic about the future and wait and see what Sunday will bring.  What will be will be….. I keep reminding myself life is a journey not a destination.