It is 16 days before Christmas and everyone seems to be asking “what do you want for Christmas?”

Is it inappropriate to answer “this year, all I really want is some good eggs, have them frozen and be one step closer to this egg freezing journey being over?”….. I realize it probably is inappropriate to answer this way, so I opt for the politically correct answer, the answer that doesn’t raise eyebrows and makes it easier for people to digest which is “i’d love a pair of pjs I saw in the White Company or a book I have been recommended”.  These are all things I really do want, but I’d trade every Christmas present in this year for some good frozen eggs! It’s funny how sometimes the things we want the most are the things that other people can’t give us despite knowing how much they might want to.

I know that I have friends and family who would move heaven and earth to give me good eggs for Christmas if they could, but sadly they can’t so I just have to hope and pray that Santa wants that for me this Christmas. I think I’ve been pretty good this year!

Round 12 is underway

I’m into round 12 of this journey which I can’t actually believe. It is day 6 of stimulation and to date nothing has really started to happen. There are three small follicles showing, two on my right ovary and one on my left but my first blood test and scan yesterday showed little to no change from the day 1 scan. Dr Gregg has changed my medication slightly from 225 Gonal F daily to 225 of Menopur in the hope this will help get things going and all I can do is wait now and see if anything happens over the next few days. I am back to see him again on Monday for a blood test and scan to see if this round is going to work.

I know the best thing I can do is sleep as much as possible and get on with my life as normal, but god it’s so hard not to worry and hope and wonder. I am literally wishing the next few days away so I am closer to this being over. Again I know this is absolutely the worst possible thing to do but wishing days and weeks away seems to have become my life this past year. Right now it’s “once I get these two last rounds done, then I can start focusing on all the other things I have put on hold in my life”.  I hate that I seem to be wishing days of my life away, when so many people out there  are wishing so badly for just a few more days of their life.

Bring on 2017

I think 2017 is going to need to start with some serious soul searching and maybe some adjustments to how I’ve been viewing and living my life, so I can stop wishing my life away and start actually living it .

In the meantime I’ll be hoping and praying that this year my Christmas wish comes true.