Monday 28 June – 12 days after my transfer and this was the day I took my pregnancy test.  Whilst I know it is good to stay positive, by the time I got to this day I had a feeling I wasn’t pregnant.  Everything I had read said you would feel certain things and I wasn’t feeling anything at all other than I really wanted to get back to the gym and that I was being lazy for not doing any thing.  Sure enough the pregnancy test came back negative.  I of course had to wait a further two days to do the second pregnancy test that they ask you to do in case it was too early to detect and that in fact the first test was not accurate.  Sadly the second test also came back negative.  I did also go and see my nice doctor in the UAE who did a blood test to confirm I was not pregnant.  Disappointed, sad, dismayed….. none of these words really describe just how I felt.  I felt total heart wrench and less about the fact that it hadn’t worked but more about the fact that I only had once chance (10 frozen eggs) left and this three month preparation and ordeal had put me one step further away from becoming a mother.  

The first few weeks were a bit of a blur and I was thankful that I had a work trip for six weeks in North America that I was going on a few weeks later.  A change of environment and being busy with work definitely helped me rebuild my strength and refocus on life beyond having a baby.  When was I going to give it another go…… I didn’t really know at this point, I just knew it was going to take me a little time to regroup and bounce back from this one it was a blow I knew would knock me hard and it did.